Boot the babes off the bus!


The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) is discussing a proposal where only two strollers should be allowed to board the bus during rush hours and no more than three at other times. You know what TTC? Fine, do it. I don’t know what’s worse – pushing that f*cking cow of a stroller (and by the way, good luck finding anything smaller than a f*cking cow) through the snow or trying to get on a bus with the said stroller with an asshole-eyed bus driver looking down on you from his royal bus perch and the huffing smelly old man behind you, clacking his tongue because you’re not lifting the 60 pounds swiftly enough.

Anyway, while we’re at it, TTC, here are some other suggestions:

  • Only two huffy, smelly old men per bus during rush hour
  • Maximum six teenagers during regular hours. A backpack counts for half-a-teenager. (i.e.: one teenager with 10 backpacks, five teenagers and two backpacks, etc.)
  • Maximum two PR-professionals-doing-business-on-the-phone during morning hours
  • Three or fewer humongous-grocery-bag-haulers per bus during all hours
  • One massively overweight person per bus per week
  • One IKEA-shelf-carrying couple per bus during regular hours
  • Maximum five foreign-language shouters at all times
  • One drunk between noon and five, three drunks after 9 pm
  • One nail-clipping-enthusiast per bus per hour
  • Unlimited number of Catholic nuns



One thought on “Boot the babes off the bus!

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