The toast was buttered counter clockwise

m220489064Every few days the kid has a meltdown. Despair, a Tasmanian Devil-worthy violence, tears to drown a mouse in. And every time it happens we don’t know. We don’t know why, we don’t know how to stop it, why don’t know how it gets triggered. The funny guy Jason Good has a hilarious list of the possible reasons why toddlers get so upset, so have a read. What I’ve got here below is shameless rip-off his list with some guesses specifically related to what my son’s reasons for freaking out might be:

The cat is walking funny.

Mommy’s skirt is scratchy.

He can’t remember the sound for the letter “G”

A man cut off his hair in July

The blue bubble bath is gone

Dad was hugging Mom

The toast was buttered counter clockwise

He was asked to eat a string bean at school last Thursday

A kid made fun of his hat two weeks ago

His best friend is away


His best friend is back

There’s no more snow

He can’t remember the name of the number that comes after 10

His toenail broke

Chocolate is unattainable

No one wants to talk about Jesus at breakfast

He forgot the words to “Baa Baa Black Sheep”

The red car’s door is jammed

He wants to say a bad word (“stupid”) but the teacher will get mad

There is no God


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